Define "chronic" masturbator.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
