I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
