THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
