I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
