So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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