Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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