He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize