He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I have fence marks all over my body
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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