used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
