Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
