oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
