Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He has the fingertips of a God
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