big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
