He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
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Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
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I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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