Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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