we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
