I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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