In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
