Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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