Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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