We won't sleep together?
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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