Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize