The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
