I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize