Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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