you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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