Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Are we still banned from the library?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
