Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
