How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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