Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We are two peas in an std pod
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
