Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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