I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
