have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
