this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
