He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
