Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize