You can't special order awesome
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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