I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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