Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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