brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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