If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
