the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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