I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
