So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
