Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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