We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
