i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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