Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry MisterMister hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(920): View more from Wisconsin

Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool

Fav 10 1098 2325
share tweet
(425): View more from Washington

got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.

Fav 11 4073 896
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina

Fav 30 801 9170
share tweet
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.

Fav 13 3772 1540
share tweet
(845): View more from New York

all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed

Fav 26 5079 1748
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose

Fav 3 930 707
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(309): View more from Illinois

We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.

Fav 5 1701 651
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.

Fav 1 858 370
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.

Fav 0 91 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT