Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.

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(727): View more from Florida

She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me

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(586): View more from Michigan

apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.

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(631): View more from New York

the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'

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(352): View more from Florida

One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.

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