Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm like, not good at living.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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