i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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