Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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