i permit you to call me
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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