Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

Hi

(805): View more from California

Babe...You're really smothering me right now

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(651): View more from Minnesota

What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?

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(204): View more from Manitoba

you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.

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(325): View more from Texas

I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room

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(440): View more from Ohio

I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog

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(804): View more from Virginia

dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck

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(308): View more from Nebraska

I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.

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(619): View more from California

For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.

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