maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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