There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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