I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
