Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.

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(845): View more from New York

I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.

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(613): View more from Ontario

my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy

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(916): View more from California

I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting

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(419): View more from Ohio

They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes

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(314): View more from Missouri

Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE

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