who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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