its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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