I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
