I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I pour the whiskey from now on
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
