Plan B is the new Plan A
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
