fuck your aforementioned shoe
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
