I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
