Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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