why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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