just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
